It is not seen to be essential to get married now, couples live to together, have children and just generally live their lives in stable monogamous relationships with little or no pressure that they should get married. The topic often comes up why get married??
Religion/ Culture:
Yes in many cultures it is still seen as absolutely necessary to get married before you live together and have children and quite often this is always how it is done- sometimes these are arranged marriages. Not as common as they used to be but can still be common practise for your parents to have some part in choosing who you will marry.
Making it legal:
Now it may sound a sterile and non romantic but the legality of marriage is sometimes why people get married, whether its an immigration reason- now I'm not talking knowing someone who doesn't have a VISA to stay in the country and getting married just so they can stay. I'm talking if your husband/bride to be is from a foreign country and you get married because you love them and you want to be able to live together in the same country. I know couples who have met while one is on their OE stayed together until their visitors VISA is up and ended up getting married so they can be together. It may just be that you want their last name, you have children together they have your partners last name and you want to have the same last name as your children.
In The Family Way:
While it is not totally necessary to get married before you get pregnant it is still done this way for many couples get married before the baby is born, everyone has the same last name and you don't have to try an plan a wedding with a newborn!!
Stability:
I would probably say this is the number one reason why couples get married, while a lot of people say "We've been together so long were pretty much married anyway."
but being married gives you that sense that of stability, a sense of belonging and cementing your relationship.
The Way Your Parents Were:
I think this has a lot to do with attitudes and opinions of marriage. These are the cases that were relevant to me.
Parents married and have a great marriage: This is the case of my husband. He didn't really see marriage as a big deal, its always what he has known so he was never really for or against marriage. It may cause you to do the opposite and prove that you can still live in a totally committed relationship regardless of marriage or it may influence you have the same strong an happy marriage like that of your parents which is how I felt towards my Mother and Father In-Law I see them as a great source of inspiration when it comes to having a happy marriage.
Parents never married and separated: My parents were never married and they separated when i was a baby so I don't remember a home with a Mum and Dad in the same house. This influenced how I felt about marriage greatly I knew from a young age that i wanted to get married and I wanted my family dynamic to be a Husband and Wife and children. It wasn't totally essential for thing to happen in the traditional order of, get married, buy a house and have kids. It was just important that I be married and give my children the stability of parents who were married, lived in the same home and parented together.
Now I understand those who grew up in homes were their parents were married but had an unhappy marriage of course your views maybe different this is just how our upbringing influenced our decisions and our opinion of marriage.
The great thing about this day in age is that we are not forced to enter into marraige because its 'the right thing to do' we simply get married or dont because we want to!
"Getting married won't fix a relationship but it can make a good one great"
Robin xx
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